That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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