and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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