Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
