I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
