im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
being pregnant is like rehab
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
