If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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