Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
