You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
