So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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