I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
