just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
