it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
