We're facebook friends in real life
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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