How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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