Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
