maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
