The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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