you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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