i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
