At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
