dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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