i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I am naked and annoyed.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
