Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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