"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
