Your mouth is God's brothel.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
