watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
