And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
