no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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