White coat. Heels.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize