don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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