The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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