I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Oh god it's open bar.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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