I need help removing her.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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