FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
