Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I can't turn off my feet"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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