We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
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I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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