I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
