Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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