I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
