I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
