He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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