xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
