that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
