Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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