There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
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I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
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I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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