I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
