I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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