You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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