Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
