i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
