YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
