Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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