Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
