I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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