She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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