Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
