We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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