You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
