We're like a lot better than the average bears
thus making me awesome and them whores
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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